Hope & Despair, Side by Side:

Something To Think About, An Odd Mix:

Small church pastoral work is one of the last bastions of generalism.  You never know what's going to happen next.  Yesterday I had two meetings within just a couple of hours.  Both sessions had to do with young adults. Meeting one was full of hope and promise.  The scene before me and the narrative that led to the meeting are the stuff of a Hallmark movie.  There is every reason to believe that in the end they all will live happily ever after. The tragic element in the second gathering was thick enough to be suffocating.  Any thoughts of bliss at the end of the story had been abandoned long ago.  The conversation had nothing to do with producing a good outcome.   All of us will be satisfied if we can bring about an ending that is less-bad--something just this side of absolutely awful. In short, at 10:30 Hope came in and permeated my office.  At 1:00 it was like someone had hooked up a huge hope-sucker to the room.  Every good prospect was gone--or at least it seems that way. There was a time not long ago when all of the young people involved in my two gatherings were equal.  If we had a photo album we could look and "OOOH, and AAAH" at how cute they were.  We could look into those eyes and see great promise.  We'd see pictures of kids smiling, wearing crooked hats and proudly holding trophies, bright-eyed on Christmas morning, and having fun with family. If you took a picture of the mood of each of the meetings I hosted yesterday, one would continue that bright tone, the other would appear as one big, black splotch. I don't know enough to say just when, but if we could trace the time-thread backward we would find choices, maybe even one critical choice, choices made by parents, friends, teachers, the young people, themselves.  After those two meetings yesterday this guy in my head was yelling, "How you choose and what you do are important.  You are building the life you will live."  Not every decision I make is critical and irreversable (THANK YOU, LORD!), but some are, and I seldom know which one one, or ones, are defining decisions.  Wisdom counsels me to be careful with all my choices.  Down the line there will be a meeting about me.  Will it be full of hope, or dark with despair? It's STTA Here is a site where you can find out about Jesus Christ and His plan for you.  You'll find several opportunities to explore.  If we can help you, let us know.  covingtonbiblechurch.com

The Ultimate Answer? Hardly:

It was twenty years, or more, ago when I read the book on Depression by Don Baker and Emery Nester. Don was a busy and "successful" pastor. Emery helped him climb out of a near fatal depression. I can still feel my stomach tightening when I think about a conversation that Baker had with a counselor after he was hospitalized for depression. He had been thinking about killing himself; that was one reason he was now in a place where others could protect him from himself. In excruciating detail the counselor pulled out the plans Baker had. How would he do it? Where? When? Then the the counselor took him where he didn't want to go.

"Who would find you?" the counselor probed.
You can imagine where the conversation went from there. As he saw in his mind's eye, his sweet daughter discovering his deed, Baker begged his interrogator to stop, but he wouldn't. He wanted this loving man to know that suicide is not the end, not for the loved ones left behind. (The quotes are from my memory, not the book.)
I saw some of that pain recently as I looked into the eyes of a friend. A classmate of hers--she sang at the wedding--had taken his life. My friend's relationship with the man who so tragically died is several steps removed from the closest of attachments, yet the pain is real. How much greater when the connection is described by words like, parent, son, daughter, sibling, spouse, or closest of friends.

Arthur Miller said in "A View From the Bridge," "A suicide kills two people, Maggie, that's what it's for!"


Maybe more.


It is the living who have to pick up the pieces and go on. They are left with the "What if?"s. Perhaps that is not the immediate intention of the person who takes their own life. It is the reality. All of us on this side of the grave need to take note of the fact. Like it, or want it, or not, all of us are part of a fabric of relationships.
"[N]ot one of us lives for himself, and not one dies for himself." (Romans 14:7)




I'm not even going into what awaits the person who takes her/his life on the other side. Right now I'm just thinking of those left on this side. To take one's own life:
is not brave, or heroic.
isn't the result of living life honestly. (No one faced life in this world more squarely than King Solomon; look at his conclusion at the end of Ecclesiastes.)
is not the only alternative. There is hope.
is not autonomous. Others will be drastically affected.
is not the right thing to do!
For those, like my friend who, are dealing with that final act of selfishness, I have great sympathy. I am aware that your loved one may have had to deal with demons that I know not of. My goal is not speak ill of the dead. Rather it is to encourage the living to go on.
Look at those who love you.
There is good reason to find help.


It's STTA.