". . . blunt force trauma and thermal trauma. . . ." that was the cause of Ryan Dunn's death, according to the coroner who examined the broken, charred remains of Dunn and his traveling companion. You might not recognize the name, but even if, like me, you never watched the show named for a male donkey, you likely know about the stunts that Dunn and the other "stars" of the show pulled off. I remember a few years ago there was a rash of news stories about young men who seriously injured themselves trying to imitate the shows antics.
It is one thing to flout the dictates of fashion with an unorthodox wardrobe. Talking in anti-social ways will likely limit job opportunities, but will walk away from the interview without physical harm. Laws of physics, though, like centrifugal force, gravity, and the shear strength of sheet-metal--not to mention of the ability of the human skull to successfully resist said blunt trauma--are rules the breaking of which bring their own consequences.
One of the officials who worked the wreck said it was the worst he had ever seen. The sports car was not merely crushed, but literally torn to pieces.
What a tragedy!
The Bible, a book one ignores at her or his own peril, says "the wages of sin is death." (Romans 6:23) and, ". . . it is appointed for men to die once and after this comes judgment." (Hebrews 9:27) The fact that God's patience and grace allows us to get by with our sin for a time ought not to lull us into the mistaken notion that we will get by forever.
We won't.
It's STTA.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
WATER!
A few minutes ago I did something that we Americans do all the time. We take the action for granted. I turned on the water. I was making some lemonade. When the jug was about full I noticed that the contents looked more like iced-tea than lemonade. Public works has been doing some work and the water is full of a reddish substance. That batch of lemonade went down the drain.
I was bugged that the water that came out of the tap was more than water. Many people in the world would be surprised to see water like that which ruined tomorrow's beverage. They never see water that pure.
Around the world people suffer and die for lack of clean water. Dysentery, cholera, and other diseases born by polluted water devastate many communies. The very young and the weak are especially susceptible. In some places women spend most of their days finding and transporting enough water to keep their families alive.
Here is a website that gives a great deal of information about the need for clean water around the world. http://thewaterproject.org/how-to-give-clean-water.asp
Not to in any way am I seeking to diminish the importance of clean water, but of even greater importance is the fact that vast areas of the world are practically devoid of the Living Water (and here and here). Again, many of us take the opportunity to hear the Good News--in church, on the radio, Internet, or TV--or to read it in a book or magazine for granted. We shouldn't. It is a precious privilege.
An old saying says, "You never miss the water until the well runs dry." For me it was "until the tap runs brown."
It's STTA.
I was bugged that the water that came out of the tap was more than water. Many people in the world would be surprised to see water like that which ruined tomorrow's beverage. They never see water that pure.
Around the world people suffer and die for lack of clean water. Dysentery, cholera, and other diseases born by polluted water devastate many communies. The very young and the weak are especially susceptible. In some places women spend most of their days finding and transporting enough water to keep their families alive.
Here is a website that gives a great deal of information about the need for clean water around the world. http://thewaterproject.org/how-to-give-clean-water.asp
Not to in any way am I seeking to diminish the importance of clean water, but of even greater importance is the fact that vast areas of the world are practically devoid of the Living Water (and here and here). Again, many of us take the opportunity to hear the Good News--in church, on the radio, Internet, or TV--or to read it in a book or magazine for granted. We shouldn't. It is a precious privilege.
An old saying says, "You never miss the water until the well runs dry." For me it was "until the tap runs brown."
It's STTA.
Are We Afraid of Our Kids?
Some time ago I received an email with this subject line: "Confronting the Fear of Losing our Kids." It got me thinking..
Often when I talk to the parents of teens their descriptions of their problems and their explanations for what they are doing include these words: "I'm afraid. . . ."
It goes like this:
Mom and/or dad says I know what my child is doing is wrong, or I know that she should be doing this, but I'm afraid that if I make an issue of it, I'll lose her.
I don't know for sure, but I'm fairly sure I saw an example of it at a restaurant a while back. My wife and I met a group of friends for a meal out. It was the night of a big dance at a local school. The restaurant was full of young people having a nice meal before the event. The guys' dress drew notice because so many of them looked utterly out of their element wearing a necktie. A number of the young ladies drew attention because of what they didn't have on. After one young lady walked by, whose outfit was best described with words like, "short," "low," "tight," and "skimpy," I told my friend--a father of teen boys and one who works with young people--"We need to pray for her date."
As the saying goes, "I'd be willing to bet dollars to donuts, that some of the parents of those high-schoolers had serious misgivings about the attire of their daughters. I'd bet more bucks to pastries that in more than one home the "I'm afraid" line was uttered.
The syndrome is equally true with guys, though the crises are often different.
Do parents ever "lose" their kids over a confrontation? Yes, they do. Sometimes when we do what is right others respond wrongly. Often there are a bunch of contributing factors, too many for this piece. Those of you who are parents of youngsters well younger than teens need to not be unconcerned. Too frequently, parents train children to believe they are royalty, never saying no, or denying the little sovereigns their will. Then after 14 years of this training the parents "rebel" and change the rules. For the first time in his/her life the little prince or princess hears the words "You can't." Yes, sometimes they lose their teen, but the loss started twelve years ago, and if the indulgence continues the child would be lost in another way..
Make Sally eat her green beans. Don't allow little Bobby to live in squalor that would cause a hyena to upchuck. Begin early to teach the valuable lesson that sometimes we have to do hard things, that we don't always get our way, that frequently doing right will force us to be different from those around us. About thirty-four years ago Kathy and I had a tag-team marathon with our eldest over a fish-stick, one of his favorite foods. That day he said he wouldn't eat it. We said he would. We had to gang up on him, but we won. Thirty-four years later I'm incredibly glad we did!
Parents, in your home there are grown-ups, and those who don't yet know the ways of life. God has put the grown-ups in charge. If you abdicate that responsibility you are very likely to lose your child. Sometimes the loss of a child is a sudden occurrence, over which the parent has little control. Still, even when kids check out in a purely unilateral way, it is important for parents to do what is right.
It's STTA.
[An addendum for those who may have lost their kids, or who realize that they have set a pattern of never saying "no." but who need to begin.
It is tough, my heart is with you, I will be glad to pray with you. Know that you won't get a good result by continuing a bad practice. Be as reasonable as you can. Someone is liable to stomp and yell, make sure it isn't you. For those who have set a bad pattern, begin with confession. "Son/daughter, I have done something terrible to you. . . ." Be kind but firm.
Teens are in that realm bridging childhood and the adult world. Sometimes they make wrong adult-level choices. Try not to burn all the bridges. Continue to be the voice of reason and what-is-right. Model that kind of life. Reach out when you can. It may not be your fault. It never is totally your fault. Assigning blame is only important if it leads to corrective action. More important is winning back someone you and God love immensely. My prayers are with you.]
Often when I talk to the parents of teens their descriptions of their problems and their explanations for what they are doing include these words: "I'm afraid. . . ."
It goes like this:
Mom and/or dad says I know what my child is doing is wrong, or I know that she should be doing this, but I'm afraid that if I make an issue of it, I'll lose her.
I don't know for sure, but I'm fairly sure I saw an example of it at a restaurant a while back. My wife and I met a group of friends for a meal out. It was the night of a big dance at a local school. The restaurant was full of young people having a nice meal before the event. The guys' dress drew notice because so many of them looked utterly out of their element wearing a necktie. A number of the young ladies drew attention because of what they didn't have on. After one young lady walked by, whose outfit was best described with words like, "short," "low," "tight," and "skimpy," I told my friend--a father of teen boys and one who works with young people--"We need to pray for her date."
As the saying goes, "I'd be willing to bet dollars to donuts, that some of the parents of those high-schoolers had serious misgivings about the attire of their daughters. I'd bet more bucks to pastries that in more than one home the "I'm afraid" line was uttered.
The syndrome is equally true with guys, though the crises are often different.
Do parents ever "lose" their kids over a confrontation? Yes, they do. Sometimes when we do what is right others respond wrongly. Often there are a bunch of contributing factors, too many for this piece. Those of you who are parents of youngsters well younger than teens need to not be unconcerned. Too frequently, parents train children to believe they are royalty, never saying no, or denying the little sovereigns their will. Then after 14 years of this training the parents "rebel" and change the rules. For the first time in his/her life the little prince or princess hears the words "You can't." Yes, sometimes they lose their teen, but the loss started twelve years ago, and if the indulgence continues the child would be lost in another way..
Make Sally eat her green beans. Don't allow little Bobby to live in squalor that would cause a hyena to upchuck. Begin early to teach the valuable lesson that sometimes we have to do hard things, that we don't always get our way, that frequently doing right will force us to be different from those around us. About thirty-four years ago Kathy and I had a tag-team marathon with our eldest over a fish-stick, one of his favorite foods. That day he said he wouldn't eat it. We said he would. We had to gang up on him, but we won. Thirty-four years later I'm incredibly glad we did!
Parents, in your home there are grown-ups, and those who don't yet know the ways of life. God has put the grown-ups in charge. If you abdicate that responsibility you are very likely to lose your child. Sometimes the loss of a child is a sudden occurrence, over which the parent has little control. Still, even when kids check out in a purely unilateral way, it is important for parents to do what is right.
It's STTA.
[An addendum for those who may have lost their kids, or who realize that they have set a pattern of never saying "no." but who need to begin.
It is tough, my heart is with you, I will be glad to pray with you. Know that you won't get a good result by continuing a bad practice. Be as reasonable as you can. Someone is liable to stomp and yell, make sure it isn't you. For those who have set a bad pattern, begin with confession. "Son/daughter, I have done something terrible to you. . . ." Be kind but firm.
Teens are in that realm bridging childhood and the adult world. Sometimes they make wrong adult-level choices. Try not to burn all the bridges. Continue to be the voice of reason and what-is-right. Model that kind of life. Reach out when you can. It may not be your fault. It never is totally your fault. Assigning blame is only important if it leads to corrective action. More important is winning back someone you and God love immensely. My prayers are with you.]
What Will We Leave Behind?
Over the weekend I participated in an unusual funeral. For one thing it was the biggest and longest funeral I ever attended, For me, it was odd that I had never met the deceased or his family, live two-hundred miles away, yet was asked to participate in the service.
V. T. Rector (and here) lived most of his life in Washington County VA. He was an educator. I first became aware of Mr. Rector when my son was a high school runner. At some of the big cross-country meets and regional and state track meets my son and V. T.'s daughter, Kelly, ran in the same meet. As a dad who tried to support my boy's athletic efforts, I was incredibly impressed with Rector's over-the-top enthusiasm in cheering for his daughter. I wrote a story about his cheering. Originally, I had no intention of sharing the story with the family. I even changed the name from Kelly to "Cary." When I wrote the story I didn't even know her dad's name. I simply referred to him as "Run Kelly Run." A year or so later, knowing nothing more than a name, I sent a copy of the story to the state track meet. "If you see Kelly Rector, or her family, give this to one of them."
Email correspondence, especially from Mrs. Rector, made known that I had been privileged to observe a characteristic that marked much of V. T.'s life--he was a major encourager.
That fact was eloquently confirmed at the Memorial Service. Family, friends, co-workers, and former students all spoke of the power of a smile, a hug, and encouraging word, or a meaningful gift given at an opportune time. (The newspaper article referenced above gives some of the testimonials.)
God and people are eternal--God always has been; people live forever going forward from their beginning. The Bible asks a question about our world. After pointing out that "all these things are to be destroyed," (emphasis mine) Peter asks, " . . . what sort of people ought you to be in holy conduct and godliness . . . ? (2 Peter 3:11)
Part--maybe all--of the answer has to be that we invest in that which is eternal, and people are part of that.
After an almost three-hour service I had no idea what kind of car Rector drove. I don't know how much money he left, or whether his mortgage was paid off or not. No one spoke of his immaculate, or shabby, yard. Whether he graduated Magna Cum Laude or Barely-Made-It-Through appeared to be irrelevant. What did matter, what people remembered, was that he had invested himself in people's life in such a way that it helped them become better people.
I never really met him, but he helped me to do so.
It's STTA.
Run Cary/Kelly Run
V. T. Rector (and here) lived most of his life in Washington County VA. He was an educator. I first became aware of Mr. Rector when my son was a high school runner. At some of the big cross-country meets and regional and state track meets my son and V. T.'s daughter, Kelly, ran in the same meet. As a dad who tried to support my boy's athletic efforts, I was incredibly impressed with Rector's over-the-top enthusiasm in cheering for his daughter. I wrote a story about his cheering. Originally, I had no intention of sharing the story with the family. I even changed the name from Kelly to "Cary." When I wrote the story I didn't even know her dad's name. I simply referred to him as "Run Kelly Run." A year or so later, knowing nothing more than a name, I sent a copy of the story to the state track meet. "If you see Kelly Rector, or her family, give this to one of them."
Email correspondence, especially from Mrs. Rector, made known that I had been privileged to observe a characteristic that marked much of V. T.'s life--he was a major encourager.
That fact was eloquently confirmed at the Memorial Service. Family, friends, co-workers, and former students all spoke of the power of a smile, a hug, and encouraging word, or a meaningful gift given at an opportune time. (The newspaper article referenced above gives some of the testimonials.)
God and people are eternal--God always has been; people live forever going forward from their beginning. The Bible asks a question about our world. After pointing out that "all these things are to be destroyed," (emphasis mine) Peter asks, " . . . what sort of people ought you to be in holy conduct and godliness . . . ? (2 Peter 3:11)
Part--maybe all--of the answer has to be that we invest in that which is eternal, and people are part of that.
After an almost three-hour service I had no idea what kind of car Rector drove. I don't know how much money he left, or whether his mortgage was paid off or not. No one spoke of his immaculate, or shabby, yard. Whether he graduated Magna Cum Laude or Barely-Made-It-Through appeared to be irrelevant. What did matter, what people remembered, was that he had invested himself in people's life in such a way that it helped them become better people.
I never really met him, but he helped me to do so.
It's STTA.
Run Cary/Kelly Run
Thursday, June 9, 2011
We need to need each other.
I'm in the midst of a project to help a member of our church with a particular need. It is a need that wouldn't exist had this person not made some radical choices for the purpose of advancing the cause of Christ. I'm glad to say that the project is going well. I had just talked to someone who was helping to meet this need when I heard this statement by David Platt, in an audio version of his book Radical, "We are not Lone Rangers trying to accomplish the purpose of God." He explains that everyone who knows the Lord needs to be committed to, and serving with, a body of believers, a local church.
Very high on the agenda by which most of us live is the concept of independence. We regard it as problematic, even shameful, for us to need to someone else's help in order to get along. Our culture is full of sayings and cliche's like: "Pull your own weight," "Be beholden to no one." or "I pay my own way." According to 1 Corinthians 12, however, no Christian can be the person she ought to be unless she is integrally involved in an assembly of believers. Even more mind-shaking is the truth this chapter puts forth that without our involvement, the church--The Body of Christ--will not be able to function as effectively as it would if we were plugged in.
We need to need one another within the body.
Another friend of mine, one who has invested his life in missionary service, once commented about what a strange way to live this was. His income and ability to do the work to which God had called him was totally dependent, in a human sense, on the continued financial investment of others in his ministry. All of us in the body of Christ need to abandon the fiction of independence that we too often maintain. Our commitment to the cause of Christ ought to be such that it places us not only in dependence on the Lord, but on one another. Since the church is His Body, the two are really the same.
We need to need each other.
Very high on the agenda by which most of us live is the concept of independence. We regard it as problematic, even shameful, for us to need to someone else's help in order to get along. Our culture is full of sayings and cliche's like: "Pull your own weight," "Be beholden to no one." or "I pay my own way." According to 1 Corinthians 12, however, no Christian can be the person she ought to be unless she is integrally involved in an assembly of believers. Even more mind-shaking is the truth this chapter puts forth that without our involvement, the church--The Body of Christ--will not be able to function as effectively as it would if we were plugged in.
We need to need one another within the body.
Another friend of mine, one who has invested his life in missionary service, once commented about what a strange way to live this was. His income and ability to do the work to which God had called him was totally dependent, in a human sense, on the continued financial investment of others in his ministry. All of us in the body of Christ need to abandon the fiction of independence that we too often maintain. Our commitment to the cause of Christ ought to be such that it places us not only in dependence on the Lord, but on one another. Since the church is His Body, the two are really the same.
We need to need each other.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Thanks Guys
On the beginning of this Memorial Day Weekend I was privileged to share lunch with two guys who made sure we Americans have something to remember. I'm the volunteer chaplain at a small assisted living facility. As such, I'm given the opportunity to share lunch with the guys who live there at least once a month. Since there are more ladies than gents at the home, it is nice for us to talk guy stuff--cars, hunting, fishing, work, and today--The war experiences of two of the more articulate fellows.
Mr. M. will be 94 in a short time. In his mid twenties Mr. M. was one of the older guys who flew in B24s over the Pacific. I have flown over and landed on some of the Islands from which the Army Air Corps operated. It is incredible how much water and how little land there is out there. Without all of the sophisticated geo-positioning, and communications stuff that we have today, crews who were just a short time before, teachers and bakers and mill-workers--Mr. M.--flew those planes over hundreds of miles of ocean and landed them on pinpoints of land. While they were at it they helped us win the War of the Pacific. Mr. M. was the flight engineer. It was his job to keep that plane flying so he and the other nine crewmen could make it back to their dot of land in the blue.
He did it over fifty times.
I don't know if Mr. M. flew over Chuuk (Truk), Palau, Guam or Yap. I know people from all those places, and have been to three of them. My friend Sam told me about standing in the primitive bomb shelter where his family would hide when Mr. M's comrades unloaded over Yap. Most of the men on Sam's Island had been conscripted as slave labor and taken to other islands to build airstrips and fortifications. Children, like Sam, women, and the aged were left behind.
I stood in one of those fortifications on Babeldaob, Palau's largest island. My friend Hyob, a pastor on Palau told me that his dad had helped build that fortification. He was forced to do so by the Japanese. I saw the bullet holes, small on the outside but blasted huge on the inside, where US sailors had raked it with machine guns. A massive reinforced concrete roof had protected the occupants of that fort from the likes of Mr. M.
On Guam, a territory of the USA, folk celebrate not only the Fourth of July, but the twenty-first as well. On July 21, 1944 the Island was liberated from Japan. I get the idea that it is a sentiment that is shared in the rest of the region.
With all of the criticism of our nation, some clearly justified, it is valuable to remember that our nation has gotten a great many things right. Mr. M. & Mr T. and another guy whose mom I tried to see today, risked, and are risking their lives to preserve what is good about the our land, and to give others an opportunity to have a better life, as well.
I'll continue my thoughts tomorrow, but for now, on this Memorial Day Weekend, this is Something to Think About.
It's STTA.
Part 2:
I told you yesterday about the opportunity I had to share lunch with a couple of military veterans at the beginning of this Memorial Day weekend. I told you about Mr. M. The younger of the two is Mr. T. He served our country in the Army in Korea. I had trouble following his story--my fault, I'm sure--but I heard about waiting and uncertaincy on board a transport vessel and an amphibious landing. I've never waited on a ship wondering what the future--the very neat future--would hold. Nor have I hunkered down in a pitching boat waiting for the ramp to fall revealing I don't know what, but knowing almost for sure that it wouldn't be good. Another veteran of the Korean War told me about the cold--bone-chilling, toe-freezing, unrelenting cold. Part of my friend's task was caring for dead comrades. The fact that he has ten toes today, might well be due to his "borrowing" some socks from a guy who didn't need them any more. I take putting on socks for granted. My greatest concern has to do with colors that match. How does one decide between freezing feet and honoring the dead? Early in the Korean War GI.s faced overwhelming opposition. Later they dealt with under-whelming support. I don't know what Mr. T did, but he did it. I'm glad, on this Memorial Day Weekend that I remembered to thank him.
On the same weekend I was enjoying lunch with these distinguished Americans a friend of mine is on his way to Iraq, and his family is dealing with having a son "in harm's way." I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but it seems to me that our world is a better place because of the cumulative efforts of the Mr. M.s and T.s who did the job before them. The jury of history is still out on our current involvements, and I certainly don't like much of what is happening in the Middle-east. I know, though, that my friend, who is on his way to the desert, loves his country and wants to share the blessings that he, we, enjoy. It seems to me that he is part of the line in which Mr. M. and T. marched. Another friend in that line, who served in Afghanistan, allowed me to use a momento he brought back from that land as an illustration for a message. He brought back a ballot of the first Presidential election held in that nation. It is a token of the greater freedom that his efforts and those of his comrades brought to those people. I know that problems abound in that nation, but my friend is proud enough about giving Afghans the opportunity to choose that he brought that memento back as a gift to his daughter.
On this holiday weekend I'm remembering to thank those who are currently serving, as well as those from the past.
It's STTA.
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Tuesday, May 24, 2011
The Ultimate Answer? Hardly:
It was twenty years, or more, ago when I read the book on Depression by Don Baker and Emery Nester. Don was a busy and "successful" pastor. Emery helped him climb out of a near fatal depression. I can still feel my stomach tightening when I think about a conversation that Baker had with a counselor after he was hospitalized for depression. He had been thinking about killing himself; that was one reason he was now in a place where others could protect him from himself. In excruciating detail the counselor pulled out the plans Baker had. How would he do it? Where? When? Then the the counselor took him where he didn't want to go.
"Who would find you?" the counselor probed.
You can imagine where the conversation went from there. As he saw in his mind's eye, his sweet daughter discovering his deed, Baker begged his interrogator to stop, but he wouldn't. He wanted this loving man to know that suicide is not the end, not for the loved ones left behind. (The quotes are from my memory, not the book.)
I saw some of that pain recently as I looked into the eyes of a friend. A classmate of hers--she sang at the wedding--had taken his life. My friend's relationship with the man who so tragically died is several steps removed from the closest of attachments, yet the pain is real. How much greater when the connection is described by words like, parent, son, daughter, sibling, spouse, or closest of friends.
Arthur Miller said in "A View From the Bridge," "A suicide kills two people, Maggie, that's what it's for!"
Maybe more.
It is the living who have to pick up the pieces and go on. They are left with the "What if?"s. Perhaps that is not the immediate intention of the person who takes their own life. It is the reality. All of us on this side of the grave need to take note of the fact. Like it, or want it, or not, all of us are part of a fabric of relationships.
"[N]ot one of us lives for himself, and not one dies for himself." (Romans 14:7)
I'm not even going into what awaits the person who takes her/his life on the other side. Right now I'm just thinking of those left on this side. To take one's own life:
is not brave, or heroic.
isn't the result of living life honestly. (No one faced life in this world more squarely than King Solomon; look at his conclusion at the end of Ecclesiastes.)
is not the only alternative. There is hope.
is not autonomous. Others will be drastically affected.
is not the right thing to do!
For those, like my friend who, are dealing with that final act of selfishness, I have great sympathy. I am aware that your loved one may have had to deal with demons that I know not of. My goal is not speak ill of the dead. Rather it is to encourage the living to go on.
Look at those who love you.
There is good reason to find help.
It's STTA.
"Who would find you?" the counselor probed.
You can imagine where the conversation went from there. As he saw in his mind's eye, his sweet daughter discovering his deed, Baker begged his interrogator to stop, but he wouldn't. He wanted this loving man to know that suicide is not the end, not for the loved ones left behind. (The quotes are from my memory, not the book.)
I saw some of that pain recently as I looked into the eyes of a friend. A classmate of hers--she sang at the wedding--had taken his life. My friend's relationship with the man who so tragically died is several steps removed from the closest of attachments, yet the pain is real. How much greater when the connection is described by words like, parent, son, daughter, sibling, spouse, or closest of friends.
Arthur Miller said in "A View From the Bridge," "A suicide kills two people, Maggie, that's what it's for!"
Maybe more.
It is the living who have to pick up the pieces and go on. They are left with the "What if?"s. Perhaps that is not the immediate intention of the person who takes their own life. It is the reality. All of us on this side of the grave need to take note of the fact. Like it, or want it, or not, all of us are part of a fabric of relationships.
"[N]ot one of us lives for himself, and not one dies for himself." (Romans 14:7)
I'm not even going into what awaits the person who takes her/his life on the other side. Right now I'm just thinking of those left on this side. To take one's own life:
is not brave, or heroic.
isn't the result of living life honestly. (No one faced life in this world more squarely than King Solomon; look at his conclusion at the end of Ecclesiastes.)
is not the only alternative. There is hope.
is not autonomous. Others will be drastically affected.
is not the right thing to do!
For those, like my friend who, are dealing with that final act of selfishness, I have great sympathy. I am aware that your loved one may have had to deal with demons that I know not of. My goal is not speak ill of the dead. Rather it is to encourage the living to go on.
Look at those who love you.
There is good reason to find help.
It's STTA.
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