Why Must We Be So Mean?

I wish that those who claim to speak for our Lord would speak with His kindness.

I remember one of the many times I was caught with my foot in my mouth. It was Sunday morning and I was teaching Sunday School in the little building in which we worshipped back in those days. From where I was standing, I had a clear view of the front entrance to the building. A pastor friend of mine, from the next town, and his wife, came in. I figured they were on their way out of town on vacation, so I jokingly asked, "What's the matter Bob (not his real name), did they throw you out. The look told me, and later conversation confirmed, that the answer was "Yes." No doubt my friend had made some mistakes, but the shabby treatment he received after his sacrificial service was totally undeserved.   Not long ago a pastor colleague announced his intent to retire after a lifetime of ministry in one church. Knowing the difficulty that the "next man" often has when following a long-term pastor, my friend asked the man who was taking his place if there were "anything he could do for him?" "Yes," came the reply,  "You can paint my house." My wife told me about a relatively young pastor. I don't know why he left his church, other than it wasn't for some kind of immorality. Sounding almost like a line out of an old Western, the leadership of the church told the young man that he had ten days to leave town. On the evening before He was crucified, Jesus told His followers, "By this will all men know that you are my disciples, by the love that you have for one another" (John 13:35). The examples I gave don't stand alone. If you ask around you can find plenty more. But I hope you won't. It's not a new syndrome. Nineteen-hundred years ago, John wrote, "I wrote something to the church; but Diotrephes, who loves to be first among them, does not accept what we say. For this reason, if I come, I will call attention to his deeds which he does, unjustly accusing us with wicked words; and not satisfied with this, he himself does not receive the brethren, either, and he forbids those who desire to do so and puts them out of the church” (3 John 9–10, NASB95).  I wrote recently that we could do with some more Epaphrodites. Likewise, we'd be better off with far fewer Diotrophenians. My late Father-in-law used to say about some folk that when they were around the Devil could take the day off. May their mean tribe diminish. It's STTA (Something To Think About).

Pearls, Hogs, & A Locker Room--A Valuable Lesson

Why would You Cast Those Pearls Before Those Hogs?

I'm teaching a Marriage and Family class at Pacific Islands University.  Part of what we are working on is getting started well--mate selection.  I've been spending a great deal of time with my past. I'm using the story of how Kathy and I got together as a discussion starter for the class.  I was reminded of an incident that happened to me fairly early in our relationship, while we were still in high school. I was on the wrestling team at Bremen High School, so in the winter the end of my school day was spent in a locker room showering and getting ready to go home.  I don't remember how the subject came up, but I began to talk to some of my fellow wrestlers about Kathy.  She was a favorite subject of of conversation.  My friends on the team weren't particularly bad guys, just average American boys.  Soon, however, I became concerned about the conversation.  Anything, and I meananything, I said about Kathy was instantly distorted and turned into something dirty. Did I love Kathy at the time?  We'll save that argument for another day.  While my feelings for her and more importantly my commitment to her and to God concerning her, had not yet matured, I did cherish her.  I knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that I didn't want to do anything that would cause her name to be associated with the kind of conversation that I heard coming from my friend's lips or saw in the smirks on their faces.  I decided that I would never talk of Kathy again in that context.  As far as I remember, I never did, again. That locker room commitment was the first of many.  Jesus tells of His goal for His bride in Ephesians 5:26-27.  He wants to "sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless." Guys, we are to follow that example.  We are to not only protect our wives, but cherish them, and keep  their name from being sullied.  I  learned that when I was still practicing.  Now, almost fifty years later, I see way to many guys who failed to learn that lesson.  They have never grown past the mentality of my foul-mouthed, leering high-school comrades. Hogs don't know how to deal with pearls. It's STTA.

God so loved . . .

Something To Think About God's Love:

“For this is how God loved the world: He gave* his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."  (John 3:16, New Living Translation) You probably memorized the verse from the King James or another translation that begins something like, "For God so loved the world."  That's a good translation, but I'm afraid it is open to our going the wrong way with it.  If we aren't careful we import emotions into the verse that are more appropriately associated with a young man in love, than with the God of the universe.  "I just couldn't help myself."  or, "I know I really shouldn't, but I love her so much that I bought her the necklace/bracelet/ring/new car anyhow.  We look at those words "so loved," and we are apt to think of God looking at a group of beings that He finds so adorable that He just can't help Himself.  He just has to find a way to make their salvation possible, even if it costs Him the life of His Son.   Yes, God does love the world.  John 3:16 speaks of the people who make up the world.  Men and women, young and old, rich and poor, people of every ethnicity, language, nationality, and condition are loved by our great God, but it is not because of any loveliness on our part.  In fact the Bible makes clear that we are really quite unlovely in God's sight.  The Apostle Paul gives a devastating summary of what we look like to God in Romans 3.  It's not pretty.   Nor does God ever argue with Himself.  I can't speak with authority about you--though I have my suspicions--but I debate myself all the time.  I guess that guarantees that I always lose.  Am I going to get up or punch snooze?  Take a shower or just put on more deodorant?  Be quite or give that person a piece of my mind?  Can I get by without shaving?  Another piece of cake?  Ride the exercise bike?  Often the better (I hope) part of me argues the lesser contingent in my head into submission; I do the right thing, but I'm whining, or worse, the whole time.  God has no such internal conflicts.  What He does He does with His entire being.  There never was a time that what He wills to do was not His plan and there never will be a time when He will regret what He does.  God loves not because He finds the one on whom He bestows His love to be worthy of His love; He loves because He islove.  Our worthiness or unworthiness is not the issue.  The truth is we are unworthy.  It was "while we were yet sinners," and, while we were still weak" that God, "show[ed] His love for us," and "Christ died for us."  (Romans 5:6-8) That word "so" in John 3 16 answers a question:  What was the extent of God's love?" or, "What is the demonstration of His love?"  Here is the answer, "that He gave His only begotten Son." Rejoice with me in this greatest of all Christmas gifts, and stay tuned.  There is more to come.  It's Something to Think About.. Find out more about this greatest of all gifts, here.

The Cost of Love

Something To Think About The Cost of Love:

(Warning:  Grandpa bragging:) In case you haven't figured out, most of the time the picture at the top of STTA is of one, or more, of my grandkids.  The picture today is of the oldest of that youngest generation of Merrells.  Christopher is a musician, and like many artists he brings a passion to life that is refreshing and challenging.  He loves the Lord, and cares deeply about others.  He recently wrote, I think the hardest part of my job is not the work itself but working with guys for 6 months or so, building a friendship with them then watching them leave only to do the same thing all over again with a new guy. . . . always watching people come and go. Christopher is a thinker.  He has observed and figured out something that I didn't grasp until I was a good bit older than him.  You can't love for free.  Love always involves an investment.  The rewards of love are often such that we don't notice that.  Having a good friend, and enjoying those around us is enjoyable, but we live in a world where people move away, move on, and go in directions that break our hearts. Chris, as his friends know him, works in an industry that is populated by short-termers.  He has been in the company for several years, most of his coworkers stay with a job no longer than a few months.  As is often the case with this kind of short-term, somewhat seasonal employment, those who work at the trade are hardly pillars of the community.  Young as he is, Christopher is often the the most mature, by far, man on the job.  He considers himself a missionary.  He wants to make a difference in the lives of those around him. . . .make the most of your time with people. Even the ones that get on your last nerve. . .  Love people through their mess. . . .   That kind of love is costly.  People will disappoint you, even hurt you.  Those in whose life you make a difference will likely go on to other places--places out of your orb.  They tend to make this move just about the time that they get healthy enough that they could give you some return on your investment.  It hurts to see them go.  After getting burned a few times the tendency is to wrap yourself in insulation.  Just do your job.  If you get too involved it will lead to pain.  Christopher reminds us to love them anyhow.  The model of love that we need to keep in mind is that of our Lord Jesus Christ.    “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13, NASB95)   There are people all around you today.  Some of them are the kind of folk it will take effort to love.  Love them anyway. Thanks Christopher for giving Papa, and I hope some others, Something to Think About.

Putting Others First:

O Henry's wonderful little  tale, The Gift of the Magi, about two people in love has amused, encouraged, and challenged folk for over a century.  If you haven't read the delightful short story, I don't want to spoil it for you.  You might want to stop reading this STTA and come back to it after you read this classic.  You can find a copy, here.  No doubt it is, at least in part, because of William Sydney Porter's--O. Henry's real name--

skill, but in part it is because of what I'm about to tell you, that before I got to the little tales closing lines, my eyes were moist.

 " But in a last word to the wise of these days let it be said that of all who give gifts these two were the wisest. O all who give and receive gifts, such as they are wisest. Everywhere they are wisest. They are the magi."  
 

If the temperature is below 99 my wife is convinced that one should open the windows and make-do with the breeze from the ceiling fan.  (A slight exaggeration, but cut me some slack.  I'm

competing with a master, here.)  I, on the other hand, if left to my own "judgment" would run the air conditioner anytime the temperature is above 55.  Yesterday Kathy and I went on an errand of mercy.  We knew we'd be gone six to eight hours.  I didn't know it, but before we left my Lovely made sure the windows were closed and set the AC at a level that she judged would be a good compromise between comfort, primarily mine, when we returned and economy, something at which she excels, while we were gone.  When we returned, while I was occupied in some pre-going-to-bed business, she adjusted the thermostat downward to a temperature she figured would be more to my liking.  Having just heard the weather, and knowing that the night's forecast was a bit less hot and humid than an equatorial rain-forest, and in deference to my wife's economical spirit, I, on my way to joining my bride in bed, turned the AC to off and opened the windows.

You'd think that after forty-three years we'd have it figured out.

I've seen a lot of marriage trouble in my time as pastor, but I've yet to have a wife tell me "I'm leaving him because the house is too cold, or a husband confess I had the affair because we couldn't agree on how to set the thermostat.

When we try to apply the Biblical injunction, "Outdo one another in showing honor." (Romans 12:10, ESV) we might get it wrong, and end up laughing at one another.  But, if more of us were like the James Dillingham Youngs we'd be laughing together.

It's STTA.

Un-blurring My Vision: Getting Self Out of the Way

Something To Think About, Un-blurring My Vision:

"Boy, did I get that wrong!" If you are like me, and I figure you are, you have often come to that conclusion in your dealings with people.  We are like someone looking at the world through a smudged lens. In Romans 12:3 the Apostle Paul diagnoses one of the causes of blurred vision and prescribes a remedy.   For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith. (Romans 12:3)    The Apostle uses a play on words that is tough to reproduce in translation.  Some form of the word phronein, think or mind, is found four times in this verse.  "Don't hyper-think; be level-headed."  All the translations I looked at indicate that what we ought to not over-think is ME--don't think more aboutyourself more than you ought to think.  This focus is made clear as we read the verses that follow.  When I view others around me asking, "What can they do for me, or what have they/might they/could they do for me?"  Or, "How can I use them to better myself?"  I'm looking through a lens smeared with the grease of selfishness.  "Don't do that." the Apostle counsels. Instead, think soberly.  "Hello, my name is Howard.  I'm addicted to thinking too highly of myself.  It's a bit complicated but Paul tells us that our thinking ought to be calibrated by faith.  In this context faith describes the way in which we are able to have a right relationship with the Lord.  Part of that new God-me relationship is the fact that God has gifted me so that I can "[b]e devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor."  (Romans 12:10)   More than half a century ago President Kennedy famously captured the thought, "Ask not what your country can do for you.  Ask what you can do for your country."   This is a metric that is often emphasized in Scripture. See Jesus' words known as theGolden Rule, Hissummary of the spirit of the law. or the example the Lord, Himself established in His coming to earth.   In our self-obsessed world the Bible challenges us to look on others with love--best defined as a determination to do that which will bring the highest good for the object of affection.  Think John 3:16. If you are like me, and, again, I figure you are, we've got some lens cleaning to do.    It's STTA.

Love and Fear:

Something to Think About for December 17, 2014:

Literature, movies, and certainly folklore are full of tales of people dealing with fear.  Some successfully and others, not so much. I've not served in the military, or been an explorer.  I've never had to land a plane with a dead engine, in the dark.  My life has been blessedly free of those terrorizing scenes that make one sit on the edge of his seat in a movie theater.  But, I have been afraid.  I have had to, and have to, fight fear.  I suspect you do as well. Getting ready for a Bible study this morning I read this brief account about a great warrior, Benaiah: " He also went down and killed a lion in the middle of a pit on a snowy day." (2 Samuel 23:20).   If ever there were a situation that screamed, "Leave it alone!" this was it.  If it is wise to let sleeping dogs lie, how much more to allow pitted lions to stay in the hole--especially when there is snow on the ground.  Even more-so when you consider that Benaiah wasn't lion hunting with a high-powered rifle.  I figure his feat was accomplished hand to claw. In our little study we guys asked the question, "Why?"  We admitted that we don't have the data for a definitive answer, but we were given a hint when we looked at the rest of Benaiah's record.  Clearly he was a man of faithfulness who highly regarded duty.  He was David's body guard, and was key in making sure that David's chosen successor, Solomon ascended to the throne.  I have to figure there was a reason Benaiah went down into that pit on a snowy day to face a lion.  Maybe they had been hunting down a rogue beast.  It was cornered in a pit and someone had to finish the job at hand.  Maybe it was a random thing, but a lion in a pit is liable to get out, and when it does . . . Better take care of business while one can.  Bottom line: We don't why the lion was in the pit or why Benaiah had to join him there.  Though Benaiah was an incredible warrior--one of David's Mighty Men, he had to fight another foe, before he faced the lion, fear. I've not faced a lion, but I have stared into the eyes of fear.  Generally the fear I have faced didn't growl and threaten, it lurked, barely seen, but very real.  John says "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear" (1 John 4:18).  Jay Adams, a counselor and teacher of counselors, encourages asking this question, "What loving thing is my fear keeping me from doing?"  Love is worth going down into the pit to face that fear, even on a snowy day. It's Something To Think About. (My thoughts were encouraged by Chapter 6 in the book The Hard Corps, by Dai Hankey.)

Thoughts on Valentine Day:

Something To Think About, 2/14

I know it sounds really bad, but I'm not a particular fan of Valentine Day.  It's not that I don't love my lovely wife, or want her to know that I love her.  I guess it's that I resent, at least  a bit, being told that February 14 is the day I'm supposed to tell her that. For one thing, as is true about most holidays that once had  Theological meaning, the modern celebration of Valentine Day bears almost no resemblance to the martyr in whose honor the day is named.  (See here.)  I guess what really sorta bugs me is that having a day on which one is supposed to express his love for his beloved, kinda implies that I'm not doing a very good job on the other 364.25 days.  I'm sure I don't, but I don't like Hallmark, FTD, and Russel Stover reminding me. So this Valentine Day I'm asking myself, "Do I love my Lord with a love that would remain true even to death?" And I'm making known, that out of all the people on earth I am thrilled to spend my life with Kathy.  I don't even need to ask her to "BE MY VALENTINE."  She shows me again and again that she already is. Thank you.  I love you, Kathy. It's not your fault that a holiday about romance got named after a Christian martyr, so HAPPY VALENTINE DAY. It's STTA.