Family Heritage:

Something To Think About, Family:

I was privileged to hang out with my wife's family over the Thanksgiving Holiday.  Really, at this point in my life they are my family.  They are a remarkable group.  Their impact for the Lord's work is significant.  Their salt and light influence is clearly a result of God's grace, but beyond doubt one of the prime channels of Divine blessing were two parents who loved the Lord and were dedicated to bringing up their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).  While I didn't grow up in their home, I am the recipient of God's grace that came through their dedicated parenting. It was uncanny.  We are a group of people in their 50s and 60s, yet our conversation clearly indicated that we have yet to get over our raising.  Parents, God has given you a powerful opportunity.  Make the most of it.  To all of us, if our parents gave us Book of Proverbs kind of resources to build on, let's make sure that we erect lives worthy of that foundation.  To those of you who look back and find that your parents didn't give you a good start, stay tuned.  We aren't doomed. It's Something To Think About.

Honoring Dad & Dad Being Honorable

Proverbs 17:6 says, the "glory of sons is their fathers."  The default condition is for children, especially boys to be proud of their fathers.  Dads, it is like we begin with a head start; our kids will look up to us until they have a reason not to.  I'll propose a simple exercise to demonstrate this.  Just listen to little kids talk about their dads.  There is a reason we tell, "My dad can beat your dad up" jokes.  It is because most little kids, in fact, believe that their dad can whip his weight in tigers with one hand tied behind his back. 
We usually attribute the change that comes to youngsters as they grow up to the kids, themselves, and our culture.  Again, a bit of observation will confirm that many/most of those four-year-olds who bragged on dad, by the time they become fourteen, are much less impressed.  Fathers, when we blame forces outside of ourselves for this fall in "polling numbers" are we taking the easy way out?  I fear we are. 

A friend of mine told me one time about a ministry in which he was involved.  Part of the meeting-plan of this ministry, involved food.  When my friend was put in charge of planning the gatherings he was given a sum of money--more than enough to purchase what was needed for a meeting's worth of snacks.  My friend was told, this was the last time he would be given any money.  He needed to make sure that he maintained a positive cash flow.  Guys, I think that is like our situation.  God has so wired little guys that they tend to look up to their dads.  Let's protect that capital.
When we ignore, lie to, make unreasonable demands on, and/or model inconsistent behaviors before our children we allow our paternal nest-egg to be diminished.  Far too often the reason the four-year-old, who thinks "there is no one like my dad," becomes the fourteen-year-old, who thinks "there is no one as lame as my dad," is because we convince them.  We waste our capital.

Fathers of youngsters, start now.  Hold on to that "The Man" position.  Sure, you aren't the strongest, fastest, smartest, or funniest, but you are the best dad your child has.  Maximize that privileged position.

Dad, if the shine has worn off of your "Best Dad" medal, don't despair.  There is hope.  Begin now to rebuild that platform.  Start by sitting down and asking your child to forgive you.  Hard, but it is the best way to start.

It's STTA.

Be Somebody Who Is Worth Following:

Something To Think About, Storms, 4/2

Any one who pays the slightest attention to our culture can see that there is a crisis in manhood.  Eric Metaxas addresses this crises in his book, 7 Men and the Secret of Their Success.  It is not a book that is full of instructions; once you get past the introduction there is little in the way of how to, rather the book is full of example--as Metaxas calls them, "Living pictures," which he says are worth a thousand words. Young men, and even those of us well past youth, are in need of heroes, role-models, and people  we can look up to.   It is a relationship that is seen throughout scripture:  Moses and Joshua, Elijah and Elisha, Paul and Timothy, and, more than any other example, Jesus and His Apostles. A few of us are working through Metaxas's book.  To quote a Marine motto, we could use a "few good men."  Whether you are a part of our little group or not, step up, man, be someone worth following. It's Something to Think About. Explore the Good News here.

To the Barricades--Fighting the Idiocy:

I really hate to do this, but some folk who don't know me might read this, so I need to put a preamble on today's STTA.  If you do know me, you can skip to the black font if you want.

• This is the fourth in a four-part series.  You need to see the other three posts for this one to make sense.  (Scroll down to the March 5 post and start there.)
• I'm a long way from being a political activist.  In fact I try to keep the church out of anything associated with partisan politics.  
• I am a supporter of public education.  While I am also a supporter of home, and private education, I realize that without a strong public system many (most) of our youngsters will grow up uneducated.

I want to make a couple of observations and suggestions.  I hope that parents will responsibly and creatively put them to use.

Bureaucracy produced, zero-tolerance rules make zero sense.  We should quit acting as if they do.  

The Prophet Micah gave us one of the great ethical statements of all time:  

Do justice, to love kindness, 

And to walk humbly with your God.

(Micah 6:8)

 

Unlike the various zero-tolerance policies there is an inherent tension in Micah's words.  Is this a time when my emphasis ought to be justice, or should kindness (mercy) be shown?  And wrap all of that in humility--rather than the incredible bureaucratic hubris that says "I've got every possible scenario covered with my one simple rule."  

No, you don't!

In Jesus day the Pharisees were the zero-tolerance guys.  In Jesus grace and truth are found.  Let's not be on the wrong side.  (See here for an example of the conflict.)

 

We create zero-tolerance policies to remove unfairness, and to make an absolute statement against something our system decides is intolerable.

• We correctly identify that drugs are a problem among young people, so we create a zero-tolerance policy that will suspend a seventeen year old, who we trust to operate an automobile and cook our supper at the local burger-joint, for having an aspirin in his backpack.
• We conclude that students in school need to get along, so we write a zero-tolerance rule that causes a young man who saves his classmate's life to be suspended for three days. 
• We conclude that guns are bad (a debatable concept, to say the least) and so we throw kids out of class for chewing pop-tarts into the shape of a gun.

As parents we should have zero-tolerance for such idiocy.

More and more school systems act as if children belong to them.  

It's not that long ago.  My son, a good student, wanted to go deer hunting in the mornings of deer season.  To do so he would miss a class at High School.  "Son, as long as your grades are ok, I don't care."  

Several days later:

"ring-ring"

"This is Mr. Smith, Chad's absolutely essential class teacher.  Do you know that Chad hasn't been in class for the past five days?"

"Yes."

(Surprise on the other end.)

"How are his grades?"  

"He's doing OK."

"Let me know when he isn't."

That is a truncated version of the conversation, but the gist is there.  This is my son, and forgive me Mr. Teacher, butI need to decide how he should best send his November mornings.  He has shown himself responsible enough to make this choice.  He has earned the right, and besides that I like venison and don't hunt myself.

"But," the educational bureaucracy objects, "If we allow that, some kids just won't come to school at all.  Yes, and I'm willing to work with you to address that.  What I am not prepared to do is to zero-tolerate responsible students and parents into a corner that makes zero sense.

OK, if this were were a sermon it would be 12:15.  I need to quit.  A couple of suggestions:

To the parents of Arundel County Maryland.  Bake every cookie for every party, back sale, and reception in the shape of a revolver.  Use jelly-beans for bullets.  Make sure every P,B&J sandwich is in the shape of gun.  Force the zero-tolerance enforcers to reduce the head count in every class to zero.

To the parents in Florida:  Tell the system that you have zero-tolerance for a system that is so intolerant of good sense that it cannot tell the difference between a kid who is starting a fight and one who is saving a life.  In honor of the gun-snatcher's heroism declare a three-day holiday.  When the zero-tolerant types say the three days have to be made up, declare another one.  Let the bureaucracy know that you have zero-tolerance for a system that punishes good behavior.

To parents everywhere:  Stop tolerating a system that lays claim to our children.  The schools exist to help us educate our children.  Let the system know that we have zero tolerance for a bureaucracy that doesn't understand that.

 

It's STTA.