An old navy saying goes something like, If you aren't leaving a wake behind you then you aren't underway. A while back I preached a couple of messages on a controversial matter. At the end of my presentations I observed that some folk, from both the right and the left, were upset. A friend wisely observed, "You probably got it about right." I sure hope so.
Many of us have an automatic response that kicks in any time trouble, or relationship problems are on the horizon--avoid it, make it go away, get rid of it as soon as possible.
Trouble in relationships, misunderstandings, etc. though, can be like pain in our body. Have you noticed that frequently when you have an injury the people who first see you don't give you anything to kill the pain? I'm sure there are a number of reasons for that--reasons that I, not being a medical professional, don't understand--but I have heard one reason is the pain is an essential indicator of the problem. When the examining physician shows up he/she will ask,
"Where does it hurt?"
Sometimes the physician will even probe with her/his hands and ask, "Does this hurt?" They will ply the suffering patients like, "On a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate this pain.?" "Is it a sharp pain, a burning pain, or an ache?" I have vivid memories of one such exam though it was decades ago. I still remember my gasping, wincing reply, "YES!" in response to the Dr. pressing a place on my shoulder and asking, "Does it hurt here?"
In both physical maladies and relational issues before one just makes the pain go away, he should ascertain what its cause is. Broken bones and relationships hurt. They should hurt. Asking and answering the "Why?" question can add to the pain, at least for a time, but it can be a necessary part of the diagnostic process. Just walking away from a painful relationship may prevent one from an opportunity to learn, grow, and come out on the other side a better person.
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