Tuesday, February 22, 2011

My Daughter's Handlers Ruined My Family:

A few years ago when little girls were getting ready for school one of the essentials they made sure they had before leaving home was something with Hannah, as in "Montana," on it. Lunch boxes, backpacks and clothing were adorned with the face of Miley Cyrus, aka. Hannah Montana.
I won't mention anything about hearts that ache and break, but Ms. Cyrus's dad, Billy Ray Cyrus, in a recent interview, expresses more than a few regrets about the show that catapulted his daughter to fame.
I have only seen the H. M. show a couple of times. It looked like every other tween-focused show I've ever seen. Here is a description from Common Sense Media:
"Hannah/Miley is spunky but also relatably nervous about everday teen worries. A widowed dad is very responsive to his son and daughter. That said, the characters can get a bit sassy/disrespectful at times, and there's definitely an aura of aspirational glamour over the whole thing (after all, Hannah is a megastar...). (http://www.commonsensemedia.org/tv-reviews/hannah-montana)
In other words, H.M. is the story of a normal American teen, dealing with normal American teen problems-except for the fact that she has a wardrobe "to die for," and just happens to be a rock-star. I think it's fair to say that her dad says cooler things than most kid's real life dads, but, hey, I did that too, so I'll cut Disney some slack.
The content of the show is not the problem with what was formerly the Cyrus family-Billy Ray and Trish were recently divorced, and daughter Miley, and dad, Billy Ray are communicating "good enough to know it could be a lot better." The problem is a little girl who entered the adult world way too quickly and adults, specifically parents, who failed to keep other forces and people from usurping the place that they-and only they--should have in their offspring's life.
I've never personally known a family struggling with the pressures related to their child's rock-star popularity, but I do see a great many parents trying to deal with the syndrome that appears to be tearing the Cyrus family apart. The syndrome, briefly put, goes like this:
Parents surrender control to children.
Children, with a good many allies, come to regard that control as their own entitlement.
Parents capitulate.
Later when teens are in desperate need of guidance and restraint parents find they have none they can exert.
Further disaster ensues.

Parents, more than anything else--expensive toys, cool clothes, trips to Disney World, a starting position on the Sports team, even her/his own TV show and recording contract--your child needs a parent who will really parent, preferably two. Don't settle for second best.

It's STTA.

No comments:

Post a Comment