Families aren't formed quickly.

Not One Crushing Blow, but a Steady Erosion:

I just spent a wonderful several days with my siblings and in-laws.  It has been a long time since we all lived together on Blaine Avenue, but all of us continue to bear the image of Doc and Irene Merrell.  Sure, there were crisis events that left an imprint on us, but mainly we were shaped by a slow steady force.  It was kind of like water running over a rock.  In an hour, a day, or a week, you can't see any impression, but over the long-term the difference that is made is undeniable. Irene and Doc were remarkable only for the high level of ordinariness that they exhibited.  A blue-collar dad, a stay-at-home mom, a house in the suburbs, and a succession of Chevys, Fords, Buicks, Dodges, Frasiers, Crosleys, Ramblers, a Kaiser, a Pontiac, a VW, a Renault . . . (OK, Dad was extraordinary at buying cars.), a small church in the suburbs, and trips to visit the grandparents every summer.  Yet, remarkable things have come out of that little rancher in a neighborhood, that looked like the model for an oddball hit song fifty years ago. It would be dishonest for me to claim that everything has gone well for the Merrell family.  It hasn't.  That was part of what we talked about and prayed about at our reunion.  Still, especially considering the overall direction of this world, things have gone remarkably well.  As parents we tend to look for ways to hit home-runs.  If life gives you a hanging curve-ball in the sweet spot, by all means swing for the fence, but know that mostly you will progress in the parenting game, by patiently enduring and drawing walk, by watching for that opportunity to steal second, and bunting in a critical situation, because it is the best chance you have--little by little, inch by inch. It worked on me. It's STTA.