In 1 Corinthians 7:9 the Apostle Paul says ". . . if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." Today many Christians add a third alternative: "They can move in together. Since our culture accepts it we won't make a big deal of it."
Frequently, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, other relatives and friends--even folk who profess to be Bible-believing Christian people--will tell me about such a couple. "Oh, they know we don't approve." The problem is, often the bed the couple is sleeping on actually belongs to the parents who claim to be opposed to the youngsters sleeping together in it. It likely is one of the objecting relatives who co-signed the lease. "Well, we couldn't let them do without."
Why?
I know such things are complicated, but at what point are we saying, "I think we should do right, but if it is hard, let's see what we can work out."?
These young people often use economic arguments to justify their cohabitation. They say that they can't get married until such-and-such time in the future. I fear it is a case of wanting to have their wedding-cake and eat it too. If you ask them, the couple can forward you the spreadsheet, justifying their claim. They'll produce it on their new laptop, transfer to their I-phone (Yes, there is an App. for that.), and send it over their wireless, broadband account. Or they can sit down with you, on the sofa they got from grandma--ten times nicer than the one she started house-keeping with--in their surround-sound equipped loft-apartment and tell you why they couldn't possible rent two places and still be able to pay the shipping on the wedding gown being hand-sewn in Paris. Enjoy the latte they bought at Starbucks, when they heard you were coming.
Some will object that I am exaggerating, and I am, but only a bit (and in some cases, not at all). The point I am making is undeniable. Just try making this offer to one of these couples and see how far you get: "I will make it possible for you to live apart until you get married."
Look at Hebrews 13:4 and ask the question, "What is the difference between the front and back end of this verse?" The same activity is contemplated, yet on the front end it is to be held in honor. while on the back it is said to bring about God's judgment. The difference is clear. It is marriage.
It's STTA (Stay tuned.)
The first part of the article, from Christianity Today, contains some interesting, perhaps depressing, statistics about cohabitation:
"Better Together?" Here is an informative article by Dr. Bill Maier:
"Is Living Together A Good Test for Marital Compatibility?"